I’ll be honest with you. For years, I ate lunch standing at my desk — laptop open, fork in one hand, crumbs in the keyboard — and I told myself that was ambition. It wasn’t. It was me letting my inbox decide what my time was worth. And the answer it kept giving me was: not much.
So let me make the case for something that sounds indulgent and is actually the opposite — the long, unhurried lunch. Two hours. Good company. No phone on the table. In a world that treats sitting still like a character flaw, I’ve come to think it’s one of the quietly radical things you can do.
The meal is never really about the food
The French worked this out centuries ago. A proper lunch isn’t really about what’s on the plate — it’s a friendship, a conversation, a life lived at the right speed that happens to involve food. Think about it: how many real conversations have you had over a rushed coffee? Deals get done in the gaps between courses. People open up when they’re not watching the clock.
When I give someone two unhurried hours, I’m handing them the rarest thing I own — my full attention, with nowhere else to be. It’s my favourite thing to give to the people I love.
Being busy is not the same as being important
Here’s a trap I fell into for years: mistaking being busy for being valuable. They’re not the same thing — and nowhere is that clearer than at the table.
The person who can linger over lunch is usually the one most in control of their day, not the least. Rushing tells everyone your time owns you. Slowing down tells them you own it. Watch the genuinely successful people you know — they rarely seem hurried, do they? Hurry is what we do when we’ve dropped the reins. And people can smell it on you.
Put the phone face-down (better yet, away)
Can I tell you the most generous thing you can offer anyone? Your undivided attention. It’s also the rarest.
Put the phone away, and you’re saying to the person across from you: for this hour, nothing matters more than you. It costs nothing, and they remember it long after they’ve forgotten whatever notification you “missed.” Here’s the part that got me, though — even a phone lying face-down and silent still halves the conversation. Researchers call it the “mere presence” effect: the thing doesn’t need to buzz to steal your attention. It just needs to be visible. So I turn mine over and slip it into my bag. Out of sight, properly present.
The pause is where the thinking happens
Ever notice your best ideas arrive in the shower, never at the desk? There’s a reason for that. Step away from a problem, and your mind keeps quietly working on it in the background — and a long lunch is simply a civilised, guilt-free way to let that happen.
I come back from a proper lunch not behind, but ahead: clearer, calmer, and often holding the answer I’d been grinding for all morning. Rest isn’t the opposite of getting things done. Half the time, it’s the more efficient way to do it — and that belief runs through everything I do here.
So this is my gentle nudge to you: block out the two hours this week. Sit down with someone who matters. Leave the phone in your bag.
Eat slowly. Talk properly. The rest can wait — it always does.
The Jacqueline Brand — knowledge builds confidence, confidence builds wealth. This is editorial commentary for inspiration, not financial or professional advice. Always do your own research. The Collection
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